Branding Matters

Carrie Schiffler - Escape From The Corner of Bad and Ass

August 12, 2022 Branding Badass Episode 70
Branding Matters
Carrie Schiffler - Escape From The Corner of Bad and Ass
Show Notes Transcript

My guest today is Carrie Schiffler - the author of the new book “From The Corner of Bad And Ass”. As an actor who writes and a writer who acts, Carrie is best known for her critically acclaimed, one women show called Tabitha; A Girl and Her Box, which was produced by Ground Zero Theatre in Calgary, Alberta Canada.

Carrie received an honourable mention for ‘Lemon Opera’ in Lorian Hemingway’s short story contest. And her first collection of poetry, Umbilicus - earned myriad positive reviews as a meditation on the sensuous, and includes images by world-renown international artist Johanna Stickland - who also happens to be Carrie’s daughter.

I invited Carrie to be a guest on my show to talk about her new book. I wanted to know what inspired her to write such an open and honest memoir. And I was curious to learn how being  so vulnerable has helped her develop a strong personal brand.

𝗕𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝘆 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸 - 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮’𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝟰𝟬 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀.
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Joelly Goodson :

Hi I'm Joelly, your Branding Badass. Welcome to Branding Matters - a podcast I created and host to help you create brand equity. Branding Matters is brought to you by GEENUMARK - one of North America's most trusted branded merch makers for over 40 years. Branded merchandise is one of the best ways to create brand awareness. Whether with your team or your fans, there's no better way to show your appreciation, connect with your audience and build community. Then combining thoughtful design with great products that tell your brand story. When you partner with genuine mark, you get more, more personalized service, more creativity, more innovative solutions. And more importantly, you get it all from a talented team of branding experts who have the experience and know how to make your job easier and best of all more fun. From promotional products, custom uniforms and clothing to sports co branding, web stores and warehousing GENUMARK makes it happen. And being ISO certified, you can rest assured ethical sourcing and sustainability are front and center. GENUMARK is big enough to matter, but small enough to care. So if you're looking for the right partner to help you create brand awareness, email brandingmatter@genumark.com to start your next project today. My guest today is a woman I've known for a long time. And let me tell you she is one badass, her name is Carrie Schiffler and she's the author of a new book called From The Corner of Bad And Ass. And this book was so incredible I just had to have her on. As an actor who writes and a writer who acts, Carrie is best known for her critically acclaimed one woman show called

"Tabitha:

A girl and her box", which was produced by Ground Zero Theatre in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, which is where I live in, which is where I met Carrie for the first time over 20 years ago. I invited her here today to be a guest on my show and talk about The Corner of Bad And Ass. I wanted to know what inspired her to write such an incredibly open and honest memoir. And I was really curious to learn if being vulnerable has helped her with her personal brand. Carrie, thank you so much for being here today. I'm really excited to have you here and to talk about your amazing book. Welcome to Branding Matters.

Carrie Schiffler:

Thank you, I'm happy to be here.

Joelly Goodson :

Where are you right now?

Carrie Schiffler:

I am in Ontario, on Three Mile Lake. I'm actually looking out at this beautiful little lake. It's a blue sky surrounded by cedars. It's pretty idyllic. That's the long way from the corner of Bad & Ass

Joelly Goodson :

Ha! Clearly. Well, that's a great segue. I love that intro and it sounds like you're in a beautiful place there. So let's talk about From the Corner of bad and Ass, what an amazing and amazing book. I can't tell you how much I've been raving and telling people about it and how great it is. So lots to talk about. Before we dive right in, I really want to know like, where did it come from? What inspired you to write this memoir? And where does the name come from?

Carrie Schiffler:

I'll start with where the idea came from as well. I've always been compelled to write, I've kept a diary or a journal for as long as I can remember actually the first diary I was gifted was when I was 13. And it was a Judy Blume diary. So love to bloom, right. Who doesn't love Judy blue. And so it had little snippets from her books on every page and it had photos of her and photos from her books and everything anyway, so I started to keep a diary at a very early age. And yeah, and I've just always been driven to document things. And I think I always harbored well. I didn't think I harbored a fantasy of my diaries and journals being discovered and being published someday. Worse.

Joelly Goodson :

What was your favorite Judy Blume book? I'm curious.

Carrie Schiffler:

Oh, it was are you there God It's me, Margaret.

Joelly Goodson :

Right. Every girl's favorite I think? That was a great one I loved

Carrie Schiffler:

Yeah. Because she talked about, you know, coming of age and like stuff that is going to happen to our bodies and things that my parents certainly didn't talk to me about.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Carrie Schiffler:

Like really good sex education.

Joelly Goodson :

I heard that there's actually a movie coming out believe it or not about one. I think it's about Are You There God It's Me Margaret. I think there's a movie in the works or something. Have you heard anything about that?

Carrie Schiffler:

No, I do not.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah.

Carrie Schiffler:

I'll keep my ears open for that one.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah. So where does the name From The Corner of Bad and Ass come from?

Carrie Schiffler:

It comes from? Well, first of all, all of the stories take place at this very literal place of the West Mall and Rathburn where I grew up any tobacco and that name came about I was at a risk worked in Mexico, playing goofy games around the pool. And the guy was partnered up with we started talking and he said he was from Etobicoke. And at this point, I was living in Calgary. I hadn't been to telco in decades. And I said, Oh, whereabouts Do you living as well, I were he was I don't, actually sorry, he didn't live in Etobicoke. He worked in Etobicoke as a social worker. And he spent a lot of time at the West Mall and Rathburn. And I said, What? That's where I grew up. And he goes, Oh, because yeah, we affectionately call it the corner of that and NAS, because that's where we're called to the most. And anyway, so that's I just tucked away that name in the back of my head and thought, ooh, I'm going to refer to Mike to where I grew up, as.

Joelly Goodson :

No kidding. So this guy, do you? Are you in context him? Like, did you ever let him know that you wrote this book with that? Or no, he was just some random

Carrie Schiffler:

guy. No, I totally lost contact with him. But his name is Roy Roy, the social worker, corner of bad math. Thank you so much for your kudos to Roy. That's

Joelly Goodson :

awesome. Well, you know, it's funny, you talk about badass. I mean, the term badass is used all the time these days. I mean, I branded myself as a brand new badass, and you hear about badass all time? I actually million by the way, pardon? I didn't hear anything

Carrie Schiffler:

badass. That's a brilliant title, by the way. Oh,

Joelly Goodson :

well, thank you. Well, I was inspired, actually, by a book that I read by Jensen, so called, you are a badass. And you know, I tell people her story. I don't know, if you've read a book, it's a really great book. And she talks about how she was in her 40s, early 40s. And was really living in her brother's garage and hit rock bottom and was going nowhere fast. And one day just said, you know, like, Screw this, I need to do something. And she picked herself up and all on her own, made something of herself and became a best selling author, and businesswoman. And you know, so I always took that with me. And I thought, I love that concept. And so for me, when I think about a badass, I think about people, you know, anybody who really just is a self made and resilient and comes across adversity in their life, and really says the same thing like Screw this, I'm have control over my life, and I'm going to make something of myself and they do it all themselves, you know, there's no sense of entitlement or anything like that. So that's sort of where I was inspired, because I come across some hardships in last few years or whatever, when I rebranded my name. So I'm curious. Two things is one. Do you think you're a badass? Because I do. And I want to know what your definition of badass.

Carrie Schiffler:

I am definitely a badass. And and I think you are, I know you are as well. Okay, I am a badass because to me, a badass is someone who is fearless. And who isn't stuck by their fear. Yes, doesn't mean we're fearless. But we don't let fear stop us from getting what we want. And we don't let others define who we are. We operate from a place of definitely from a place of strength. And we are motivated by our desire to have the largest life possible, and that we are worthy of the largest life possible. But that I mean, the richest life not necessarily monetary abundance, but from experiencing all that life has to offer. We're not playing small. And we're certainly not going to play small because someone else expects us to.

Joelly Goodson :

So no matter what anyone's expectations or definition of you are, you're not gonna let that ever stop you from going after what you want and what you deserve. I liked what you said worthy. I thought that was interesting that you feel worthy of it. I mean, I think that's an issue a lot of people have is they don't feel worthy. Do you know what I mean? Like we all have self doubt, or we just

Carrie Schiffler:

Oh, so much, but not be enough. Yeah. Not enough. Not being good enough. Not being thin enough. Not being rich enough. Not being enough. That's been my, I think a decade long bugaboo to to get rid of, you know, to cleanse myself of this bullshit idea of not enough, so I'm going to be badass through it. All right.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, I love that. For me, I have my definition. I love your definition. And I think it's so interesting. So I appreciate you sharing that with me because I do think you're about us for sure. And a lot of the reasons why you said but also after reading your book, I mean, I always thought you were but really after reading your book, more so than ever, you know, and we're gonna get into your book. So first line in your prelude to your book, you reference one of my favorite books of all time The Glass Castle by Jeannette Right, right. Love that book. And I can't believe when I opened every book I read that was the first sentence in your Prelude. And I was just like, Okay, this is already starting off great. And I resonated with that book for so many personal reasons growing up and everything. So I'm really curious to know why that book and how did you resonate with that book?

Carrie Schiffler:

Well, that was literally the book that I was reading at that time in that Scene, I'm referring to being at the hospital if you're getting prepped for a colonoscopy, and I had a book with me, and I sat down on the bedside table beside me, and the book happened to be Glass Castle, but it's funny because you picked up on that, because I didn't say the title of the book, in my first drafts that I submitted to the publisher, I just said, I put my book A Memoir, you know, on on the bedside table. And she said, I need to know what the book is called. For some reason. I just thought that maybe there'd be copyright infringement, or I don't know, I don't know why I didn't mention it. Oh, I know. Because that nurse Dan, Don, went on to say that he didn't like the book. That's why and I didn't want to ever it to get back to her was just a disparaging things about her book. That's what it was. And so I said, okay, it was The Glass Castle. And no, I love that book. And I've read a ton of memoirs. And that one really stuck with the fact I read that one twice. And I just was so enamored with how raw how vulnerable, she allowed herself to be in the telling of that story, you know, and that she didn't, she never placed blame or used her parents situation as an excuse for her behavior, her not accomplished and not You're not living her best life, right? That in spite of it all, she she went on to have this incredible life. And, and that's who I want to be, you know, that's why that book resonates?

Joelly Goodson :

Well, I find it so interesting. You say that, because, you know, I don't think anything is coincidence. And I think things will happen for a reason. And, you know, that was the first line of your book. And then after finishing it, I mean, there's so many, I don't know necessarily parallels, but it was a, I couldn't think of a better book to start off with, because you know, everything that you just said about her being vulnerable and about sharing about her stores. I mean, I remember when I read The Glass Castle, and it's quite a few years ago now and I'm reading it going like, you can't write you can't make this shit up. Like this is real. And this is what's happening. You know, the scene when I don't remember when she learned how to swim because her death throws her in the water and lets her fend for herself. Right. And you're reading all these different stuff.

Carrie Schiffler:

My dad did that to mee too. My dad did the exact same thing. He threw me in this very lake I'm looking at.

Joelly Goodson :

Really eh? Yeah. Yeah. And so I remember when I was reading it going like this is this is greater than fiction. That, by the way, is also turning into movie all these great books. So who knows? Maybe yours can turn on me too. So we'll go there. But yeah, so I remember reading and thinking all those things, and then reading yours and very similar parallels about that vulnerability to sharing the stories that you can't believe are real. And we I almost felt like there's a bit of foreshadowing in your book too, at the beginning. Because when the nurse talks about that book, and you reference how he says that, you know, there's no way this is real, there's no way this is real. This is all been fabricated. And probably very similar to your book, because a lot of stuff that you write, like I said, I'm reading it, same thing and going like, I can't believe this is real, like Did this really happen? Well, there's a famous saying, never I don't know how famous it is. But I There's a saying that I've heard where it's never let never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Right? And if you've ever heard that saying before. So is your book, like? Is everything in it true? Is there any embellishment? Tell me a bit about that?

Carrie Schiffler:

There is zero embellishment? Zero. But I did change some names? Could you change some names, or all the names? Not all the names. So that that was really, that was challenging for me to figure out what names I was going to change and why? Because at first, I didn't change any of the names. And then my publisher said, Carrie, you should probably consider changing these names, because just think about it, because I'm going to do a disclaimer anyway. But you should really consider senator that so I gave it some thought. So we had this phone editing session, phone call because she's in Calgary, and I'm an Ontario, where I just read out all the names. We went through chapter by chapter by chapter story by story, and she changed the names. So that's really the only thing that's that would be like untrue or, or uhm

Joelly Goodson :

Well that's not really untrue. I mean, you you know, I think that's happens all the time where you change the name to protect the innocent or whoever right or you don't want to get

Carrie Schiffler:

To protect myself. Yeah, because

Joelly Goodson :

yeah. Oh, for sure.

Carrie Schiffler:

Last crack, have a lot of them, you know, these assholes in my life and I don't want them to be able to come back at me with with ammunition, right?

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so all these names I one name again stood out in that book, right at the beginning Sarah Goodson. Like, I don't have any relatives named Sarah Goodson. But it's first of all, is that a true person? Or is that a made up name?

Carrie Schiffler:

That's a made up name. So we're still in contact and I changed her name because she's she's connected to the story about someone else whose name I changed and I can't remember what I changed it to and I don't want to say his real name, right. So he changed his name to anyway it was in the chapter my first crush I think it's called aldermen, oh no, my Gong Show crush. So this fella, I go on to explain, you know why had a crush on him and then afterwards and then we reunite like 40 years later or 30 years later, whatever I'm claiming for some drinks and I get the lowdown on what

Joelly Goodson :

John Reubens I have the book right here.

Carrie Schiffler:

Thank you John Rubin's Yeah,

Joelly Goodson :

That's the made up name not the real name.

Carrie Schiffler:

Yeah, exactly. It's a made up name. So Sean Reubens went on to to he died. And Sarah Goodson posted his eulogy on social media. And that's how I found out about who died and how he died. And in order to be sensitive to his family members, I had to change his name and her name as well, because they could easily track that, you know, does that make any sense? Yes of course!

Joelly Goodson :

I want to know how you came up with Sarah Goodson?

Carrie Schiffler:

I made it up because I, because she's quite this. She's this lovely and almost angelic like person. And I wanted to name that with sort of, if I were to, like, cast this character, that, like her name would sort of say at all. So Sarah's very, you know, biblical and good son is just good.

Joelly Goodson :

No, seriously, you didn't you just got Goodson out of the you pulled it out of thin air you didn't get it from anywhere?

Carrie Schiffler:

I pulled it out of my ass.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, I think subconsciously you were thinking to me, because I'm so much like, Oh, that's so funny. Anyway, I read it. And I was like, Are you kidding? That's so funny. It's interesting. You and I've talked about this too, a little bit, we just let our audience know. I mean, we've known each other and when I say know each other we know each other socially for over 20 years, probably right in Calgary and through people that we know. But I feel like I know you so much better now because of this book. And and, and such a an in such a good endearing way. Because you're just so authentic. And and I'll get into more about the authenticity. But I want to know, like you talked about you loved writing and you said you always want to do that maybe discover but why a memoir, like what was it about exposing yourself in such a open and honest, vulnerable way? Like why a memoir?

Carrie Schiffler:

Well, I think you just actually answered that question for me with when you said after reading the book, you felt like you really knew me. And I definitely wanted to write a memoir memoir, so that I could tell people who I was, you know, why I am the way I am and all that I've been through because it has been an incredible journey. And I wanted people to know that it hasn't always been easy. Because I feel so blessed and so fortunate now, with all that I'm able to do and have in my life. And I never want people to think that I'm taking that for granted or that it's come easy to me. I want them to know that I've had to work and fight really hard for where I am and what I have now.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, I love that. I mean, it's all about the why, you know, and that's that's a lesson that I've learned in the last few years in my later years in life. I mean, you and I are both the same age and you know, you tend to see people and all you see is the what, right. And you see how they're acting and what they're doing and what they're saying. But we don't spend enough time thinking about the why behind the what and the reason I'm probably you want as a because I love your book and lobbyists I want to help you promote it. But be because I talk a lot about personal branding. And a big part of personal branding is being authentic and being vulnerable. And there's a lot of people knew that talk to talk, but they don't walk the walk. But you obviously with this book, specifically you walked the walk and you're showing warts and all and all the challenges you've come up against. And I'm curious to know, with everything that you shared in your book, is this book the first time you've exposed yourself in this way, and I don't mean, you know, literally and we'll get to that, but I just met. We're gonna go there. But this is the first time you shared all these stories publicly.

Carrie Schiffler:

No, not really. Because I remember, especially in my university years, like going out with people who I just met, having too much to drink and oversharing like I was that person who would have ever had everybody at the table crying. Because I'm like, and then this happened. And then when I was seven, my uncle bar, you know, so it's been in me to, like screaming to come out for the longest time. You know, yeah, I've never really withheld information. In fact, I went the opposite way. And like I said, over shared and all that so so when

Joelly Goodson :

you're doing that back when you were younger, and you're out and you're oversharing and you know, maybe it was a cry for help, maybe it was Who knows why. I mean, were there repercussions for doing that? I mean, what was the feedback you were getting?

Carrie Schiffler:

I definitely I think I turned away some potential friends. I think I scared some people off. Yeah, I was too much. You know, because I was right. It wasn't enough. So I had to give everything just dump it all out there like way too much too soon. So I think I yeah, I think I scared a lot of people off. I also think, though, that I like to think that I inspired other people to do the same to because I would sometimes encourage other people to share their stories to aren't Shut up long enough to listen to someone else say, Yeah, I can relate to that there was what happened to me. Yeah. And that. And I think that's, it's always Better out than and you know,

Joelly Goodson :

yeah. Well, it's interesting. I've heard people say that when you are open as open as you are, then no one can ever hold it against you, right? It's when you it's when you have all the seats down, and you you know, and you you're not being you're being the opposite of authentic, you're being fake, and you know, you you're living this double life, but then you're always living in fear of being found out. And people find, you know, because especially nowadays with the internet and social media, and everybody's got cameras, you're always living in fear, whereas it's liberating, I would think, to just put it all out there and be open, and let people judge you based on who you are and your experiences and you know, they have nothing on you basically. Right. Do you feel that way

Carrie Schiffler:

back? That's definitely a self preservation approach to Yeah, you know, if you have a pimple, you should like, oh, yeah, I'll look at this thing taken. Taken up my entire favor, usually pointed out first, and then no one thinking the whole time. Oh, she's got this big zit on her chin. But if you clear that first thing, then, yeah, that's so have that up on you.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah. Okay. So just to get serious here for a second. You know, Carrie, you are always so upbeat, and euro and not in a like you're not fake, you're like I said, you're very authentic. You're very real, but you're very upbeat, and you have a great sense of humor, and you always laugh and you have a beautiful smile and a beautiful laugh. So writing this book, I'm not saying too much about the book, because I want everybody to go out and buy it. But there's a lot of tragedies that happen to starting at a really young age. I mean, you were sexually abused by your grandfather. And you know, you were physically abused and like terrible, terrible stories. So how do you write a book like that? And do it with such humor? And was that a conscious decision to do it that way?

Carrie Schiffler:

Yes, absolutely. It was absolutely a conscious way to do that way to write with humor. Because I care too much about the reader to not do that. Leave everyone feeling terrible. And worried about me. Also, you know, it's it is a coping mechanism, humor as a coping mechanism. You know, when things get tough, you just need, you have a choice, right? You either laugh or cry, and hopefully you can do both.

Joelly Goodson :

Did you cry part of your book? Was there tears?

Carrie Schiffler:

Oh, yeah, definitely. And oh, and my daughter, who lives in Portugal, but was in Ontario, with me for two months, while I was doing the final draft, like the final draft, just before I submitted it, she was with me. And she was, she was so helpful, and so curious and supportive about the book that I would read, after I finished a chapter, I would read it out loud to her. And yeah, reading it out loud is, is where the when the emotions, you know, surfaced, as opposed to sitting there and writing it because I think my brain was too, too engaged, but, but then to just read it and hear that, let's hear the words land in the air. And then sometimes she read my stories out loud as well. And I was just a mess. Because again, I was just that much more detached from it. So I could just hear how the words were landing and okay, but getting back to humor, like, as a kid, when things were particularly things were always tense around the house, but I learned at an early age that if I can make my mom laugh, things would be a lot easier.

Joelly Goodson :

And so that was your goal was to always try to prepare

Carrie Schiffler:

for the time. Well, you know, we'd watched The Carol Burnett Show together and I would pick a character and I would imitate them on my own in my bedroom. I would repeat you know how to do Mrs. Wiggins or, or whatever else, those characters.

Joelly Goodson :

What are the main care? Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, I use humor as well. I think it's a great way to break the ice. I think that's sort of something that unites us. All right, I mean, emotion. I mean, again, it's back to connection and what you know, just as much as sad things connect assault humor connects us all. Yeah, we all have a different sense of humor. And some people think some things are funny versus other. But when you can crack a smile on someone, sometimes that's my goal, when I meet someone new, right, especially in business, if I can crack a smile and get them to laugh, then that instantly warms them to you, and then you build that connection.

Carrie Schiffler:

Another thing that, like, a physical thing that happens when we laugh, is that we take a big inhale and a big exhale. And as soon as you do that, even if you're not allowed to just inhale, exhale, you automatically lower your heart rate, your pulse rate, you become more relaxed. So you're right, it is definitely a great way to break the ice and, and everyone just feels better when they breathe deeply and laughter gets you there. Definitely. Another reason why I chose to write to make sure that I wasn't so heavy handed with these stories and infused it with some humor is because my mantra while writing this was write how you like you know write, what do you like to read? Write the way you like to what am I trying to say here? Write the book you want to read. That's what it is write the book you want to read. I love memoirs, but I liked them way more if they if they had a bit of humor?

Joelly Goodson :

Well, it's not an easy thing to do. I mean, that was my thing I was gonna ask you is so writing with humor, and I agree with you and everything you just said, but did you find that more challenging, especially in some of the darker situations you were in to add humor to it? Or is that just come? It's very natural to you to find the humor and everything?

Carrie Schiffler:

Yeah, it comes. It comes pretty natural, natural to me. And I think it's, again, it comes back to caring about the reader. You know,

Joelly Goodson :

I love that that's so true. anymore. Like, you know,

Carrie Schiffler:

time has that. So, tragedy plus time equals comedy. And so I'm not there anymore. And it's okay. People don't worry about me.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah. It's probably cathartic for you to I bet. Absolutely. Yeah. So tell me about, you know, the thing I loved about you. I mean, I loved everything about it. Honestly, I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. Like, I love this book. I think it's so great. As you can see me floating in all over social media. But another thing I loved is I liked the way you broke it down into little snippets, right? So even though you took us on this journey, so you're a great storyteller, you do it with humor, you you know, there's nothing you don't tackle. But you do it in these little snippets. So I would read a chapter but you left, you left me wanting more. I wanted to know more about that particular story. And then you would go on to the next chapter. And each chapter is pretty small. Why did you decide to do these little I call them vignettes versus doing just one linear sort of story from when you were born until today,

Carrie Schiffler:

I thought that would be way harder to do, I still think it would be way harder to do a linear story. I don't think in a very linear way. I always just thought I would my next because my first book was a collection of poetry. So I always thought my next book would be a collection of short stories. And I want them to all be true stories, which they are. Yeah, but I was a I'm afraid of writing the memoir. I also don't think I earned the right to write a memoir because, oh, only famous people write memoirs or so it's like it was much safer and doable. Well,

Joelly Goodson :

there's that word, the word again.

Carrie Schiffler:

I know, I know. I'm not saying I'm I don't get all the answers. I'm still on my journey. I'm still a newbie on this little healing venture. It feels like some days. So that's why I chose that structures. Because the memoir as a linear story, it seems so daunting. Wow. And again, I like to read short, little snippets like that. So I wrote the book that I like to read.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah, it's great. No, I love it. I just found it really interesting. But I was sometimes I was like, damn, I want to know more about that. And then you would go on to, you know, this next little short story. So let's talk about a couple of the stories in there. And if you're okay with it, I want to tackle a subject you talked about, and you're very open to your book. So let's talk about your time as a stripper. Can you share what got you into stripping? What that whole experience was like for you? And I'm really curious to know, these are like all these Ivan billing questions here. And we can kind of go through them. But I really want to know what that experience taught you about yourself.

Carrie Schiffler:

I had had that in the back that fantasy since I was a little girl. Right or wrong. Like, and some of the other stories do touch on that interest. You know, and yeah, being an exotic dancer.

Joelly Goodson :

One of the stories when you do talk about that when you're I think 12 or 11 and your dad brings his girlfriend over and you're dancing to Patricia the stripper and you strip. I'm gonna tell you I used to dance with that song too. I mean, I never stripped in front of my parents friends or anything. But I mean that song right when you think about it, so when you were when you when you wrote that scene? It was sort of bittersweet because of what's actually happening. But yeah, I was playing I was singing the song in my head because I totally remember it. So as long as that age on it always been so why do you think you always want to be stripper? Like, what was it? I know, it wasn't that song.

Carrie Schiffler:

I always craved the attention that I felt I deserved and never got. You're obviously comfortable in your

Joelly Goodson :

body. Is that fair to say? Yeah.

Carrie Schiffler:

And I've always loved beautiful women like watching beautiful women. And yeah, both those things. I I wanted to be one of those beautiful women that I saw. Like I was raised by the television, you know, yeah, I wanted to be beautiful women I saw on the television.

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah. Well, it's your story. What did you learn about yourself more than anything? Because here's a childhood dream of yours that was realized. So I'm curious to know if it was all what you thought it was going to be a hope was going to be and what did you learn?

Carrie Schiffler:

Nope. I learned that I was far too young and stupid, and are naive. I should say it wasn't stupid. But no, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't get like discovered as this beautiful dancer and get whisked off pretty woman style to LA or, you know, so none of that happened. But what I did learn is that I was better than that. And because the whole time I was there. I did feel I didn't know that I was I don't want this right or wrong. But I thought I was better than the other dancers that was better than I was destined for better. I should say that I was better than these places that I put myself in I didn't associate with any of the other girls. From one they terrified me. And because I was so much younger than them, too. But I always knew this is not where I'm going to end up. I've got better. I don't know what I'm doing, but I've got better places to be. And I also learned that I was really strong,

Joelly Goodson :

to amazing Hey, how you sometimes you don't know how strong you are until you're tested? And then you really know how strong you are. That's about us. That's exactly what I would say. Is when you're tested, you know, I just want to elaborate a bit more about on that you talk about you were better than everybody else. I don't know. I don't think you're talking about better dancer. But when you say better, what do you mean? Like was it like, cuz? I mean, I would assume that a lot of exotic dancers strippers? I don't know. I don't I don't know that world. So I'm curious to know, I mean, you know, we've seen Magic Mike. And we've seen the male side of things, but I don't know that world. And so we're other people in their room. Everybody's got a story was, did you meet other women that maybe had similar stories to or what was? What was it that you felt we were better? First

Carrie Schiffler:

of all, from all the movies that I've seen that deal with strippers or that take place in a strip club, I haven't seen one that is accurate to my experience, or that mirrors what I saw and the places that I was in? So there's that this is such a good question. This is really good for me to think about. No, I was not a better dancer than them. But I just felt that I wasn't meant I didn't belong there that I was meant to be somewhere else. living a better life, I was surrounded by people who didn't seem like they had more ambition than being there, you know, that they were stuck in their problems stuck in their issues, you know, and were unhappy with their boyfriends were unhappy with where they were living, weren't making enough money hated the club, they were just stuck in their shit. And I didn't want to be stuck there. I so when I say better than I just knew that this was not my place. The same was when growing up on the corner of bad ass like I knew I wasn't meant to be there that there was something better out there. So I felt the same way when I was in the clubs.

Joelly Goodson :

For me when I hear your story. It's like the fantasy and the reality did not mesh right. Your fantasy of when you were younger, and being a stripper and what you wanted. And the reality of it was hard and greedy. And you know, that was the end for most people where you're like, This is not my ending. This is like I want more you wanted way more than what that was all that life was offering you is what I'm getting from it. So yeah, and I Yeah,

Carrie Schiffler:

even know what that was. I just knew that this wasn't from Yeah, so you

Joelly Goodson :

obviously had to experience that. So do you have any regrets? But that whole part of your life?

Carrie Schiffler:

No, I don't. You know, my only regret in my entire life is that I didn't finish high school. I went to this like amazing, you typical School of the Arts does incredible education and, and I dropped out like months before graduation. To me, that's my only regret. And in my my life. Yeah.

Joelly Goodson :

Well, you're obviously very smart. You're a great writer, I just want to ask you about your writing. It's funny because you like I said, you're a great writer. There are some I don't know, snippets of the book where you're writing and not good English A and was that put on to get into the character?

Carrie Schiffler:

Absolutely. Yeah. Especially with the dialogue. Anytime there's dialogue, I don't take any accountability for grammar, because I'm trying to stay as true to the voice of those characters. myself at whatever age

Joelly Goodson :

Yeah. And you do that. So well. See, that's another thing, right? It's just a small thing. But you can really notice it because your writing is great and and then all of a sudden, they'll be this part where it's like, wait a minute, that's not real, proper English. My boyfriend calls me the grammar slammer, hammer memory. Like picking on my kids, you know, if they say me and my friends or things like that, right? But I was reading I'm like, Oh, that's so great. I love the way you would go in and so Okay, so I just want to talk a little bit more, we talked earlier about vulnerability, which you are very much so in that book, and I compare that as far as personal branding goes because the best personal branding and the best branding, actually that I see that's out there is when brands and businesses are very transparent and very vulnerable. And very authentic right and vulnerability is a great way to differentiate yourself because it really builds strong connections and I've talked about how branding is so important to build strong connections with your audience because that's how you're getting them to fall in love with you is ultimately what you want to do and then you leave a lasting impression and that's how you get your you turn your audience and your customers into fans right and and how I'm a fan of your book and I'm sharing it with everybody that's ultimately what you want. So I'm curious learn

Carrie Schiffler:

so much by just wait sorry, I've done I have learned so much. And that just that last blurb that last sentence, just that learning what you do and why vulnerability is important in branding. I just love Wow.

Joelly Goodson :

Thank you tell all your friends. Anyway, so with all that said, what lasting impression do you want your readers to have about you after they finish your book?

Carrie Schiffler:

Oh my gosh. I don't really care about that impression. What I want though, is I want to, I want to Netflix series deal.

Joelly Goodson :

You mentioned earlier, Carrie, you say you don't care. But I kind of challenge you on that. Because you mentioned earlier about how you write for the reader. And you said, I do my reader. So you're obviously care about the reader, because everything about your book is speaking to the reader and you you're connecting, like I said to, I didn't know you much before.

Carrie Schiffler:

But I don't care what they think about me, you say, what lasting impression of me Do I

Joelly Goodson :

like, I guess maybe I didn't want to write so I apologize more about how do you want them to feel after reading your book?

Carrie Schiffler:

Okay, there we go. I can, I can definitely talk about that. I want them to feel empowered to share their own stories. That doesn't mean they have to, you know, write a book, but just if they're holding something in, or something that other that might make someone else uncomfortable, or that they were told in an early age is a secret, or for whatever reason, if they have a story, if any of my stories resonate with them, I'm hoping the feeling is that they they have to share it, whether they write it down or talk to a friend, a therapist, just so important that we give ourselves permission to accept all parts of us, except all the ugly bits, the vulnerable parts that you have to first expose them. I love that, I think,

Joelly Goodson :

Well, I think that's a great way to end this conversation. I love that you said that. I do have one follow up question with that. There was any budding authors out there on they were thinking about how to write a book, whatever memoir specifically, do you have any advice that you would give them?

Carrie Schiffler:

Don't be afraid of the memoir? Write it in short story for me, I would say well just start. You're only as good as the last thing you wrote. So Right. Yeah, just write, don't worry about at this point. Don't worry about getting it published, what the cover is gonna look like what your target market is. Don't do any of that. Just to get your stories out there. That's great advice. And it might Yeah, it might actually help to, like, share your stories with a friend first to just verbalize them before you write them. But everyone has a different process. Just start sharing.

Joelly Goodson :

Great advice. Great conversation. Thank you so much. Is such a pleasure chatting with you, as always. So Carrie, if people want to learn more about you, and about your book, where can they find the book? And how can they connect with you personally, they

Carrie Schiffler:

can purchase copies of from the corner about and ask from Amazon or indigo online or chapters online and they can reach me, you on social Instagram. I'm on it just as my name so I'm, I'm out there. I don't hide behind any weird moniker. So it's Carrie Schaeffler on Instagram or Facebook. Great. Well, thank you, Anna trying next talk but tiktoks really awkward. I don't get it.

Joelly Goodson :

I know I don't lie. You know what, I have a Twitter account. But I'm not on there that much off often either. I mean, there's just too many platforms out there. And it's hard to spread yourself overall. And so, you know, I think just having fun is what it's all about. So whenever I do anything, I just try to have fun with it. Well, thank you again. Do you have any closing words?

Carrie Schiffler:

Yeah. Embrace your inner badass. Come out to play. Exactly.

Joelly Goodson :

All right. Well, thank you again. I look forward to seeing you in person again soon. That was so much fun when you were here in Calgary on your little book tour. So hopefully we'll be back doing a movie tour next.

Carrie Schiffler:

Thank you so much for your time. I've learned so much. Oh, really informative for me.

Joelly Goodson :

Me too. Okay, we'll talk soon. All right. Hi. And there you have it. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed the conversation and maybe learned a few things to help you with your branding. This show is a work in progress. So please remember to rate and review on whatever platform you listen to podcasts. And if you'd like help creating brand awareness for your business, please reach out to me on any of the social platforms under - you guessed it - Branding Badass, I promise you I reply to all my messages. Branding Matters was produced, edited and hosted by Joelly Goodson also me. So thank you again and until next time, here's to all you badasses is out there.